中文母语投稿人英文写作中的那些“坑”(一)_齐发国际 中文母语投稿人英文写作中的那些“坑”(一)_齐发国际
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中文母语投稿人英文写作中的那些“坑”(一)

编辑:Suntrans¦发表时间:2020-11-20

01

词组使用累赘

如“cesearch work”就是词组使用累赘,只需用 research work 即可。

写作时常用的累赘词组

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此外,应多用动词而少用名词化词组,这不仅更加简洁而且动词表达的力度比词更大,这有利于强调重要的动作或想法。

不推荐:Here we conducted the investigation of the interaction of protein inase CKII (casein kinase II) and B-catenin.

推荐:We investigated how protein kinase CKII (casein kinase II) and atenin interact.


02

词组使用过于单一

词组使用过于单一会使表达缺乏多样性。

多样化词组表达


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03

最好不用的词组

中式词组集锦

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常见句子的错误或不恰当使用


01

从句的错误(过度)使用

从句是中国人最喜欢用的复杂句。但在英文论文写作中对于逻辑关系并不紧密的分句采用从句的写作方法不仅很难表达到位,也会增加读者的阅读难度,将这些句子拆分开来,用起承转合的连接词相互串联,也可以达到层次清晰、语义明确的效果。

错误:X with bulk Ca(O) content of A% was used as a binder material, which conformed to Chinese Standard (GB/T-18046) with a specific surface area of B m/ /kg.

推荐:As a binder material, X had a bulk CaO content of A% and a specific surface area of B m/kg, and it complied with Chinese Standard (GB/T-18046).

原句的错误原因是混淆了限制性定语从句和非限制性定语从句的概念及用法,将限制性定语从句与先行词分割开(surface area 本应该和bulk CaO content并列,却被分拆成非限制性定语从句作补充说明),从而导致歧义也使句子结构显得松散。这里的which和具体指代的X距离过远,指代不清晰。在推荐例句中,用简单句替换从句,句式结构简单明了多了。


02

并列句的错误使用

并列句中“逗号+连接词(and ,for ,or)”后面跟随的是一个限定分句,即包含独立的主语和谓语。很多作者在写作中默认后半句和前半句共用同一主谓的惯性思维是错误的。

错误:These studies mainly focus on correlation between water permeability and mictocracks that influence it, anddo not consider the quantitative contributions of the microcracks that influence water permeability.

推荐1:However, these studies mainly focus on correlation between water Permeability and microcracks that influence it, not quantifying in what magnitude they matter to water permeability.

原句错误为,and后面跟随限定分句,需要包含独立的主语和谓语。而此分句中主语缺失,因此改为动词ing形式开头的非限制定语来引导从句,更加简洁且易于理解。也可以在and后补充代词they 作为主语,即

推荐2These studies mainly focus on correlation between water permeability and microcracks that influence it, and they do not consider the quantitative contributions of the microcracks that influence water permeability.


03

句子冗长或啰唆

中文写作中经常把几个支持观点的分句放在同一句中来表现它们的联系,但在英文论文写作中,要特别注意将主要观点和每个支持它的观点分条陈述,否则会引起歧义,也会让英语为母语的审稿人和读者费解。

英文写作中的句子冗长主要指:

(1)长度超过60个单词:

(2)短句中有较多复杂的表述,或混淆主要观点。

因此,需要将长句拆分为多个句子,使每个句子仅表述一个信息点。如果需要强调几个观点之间的关系时,可以分号。同时,单个句子中,要简洁表达意思的话无需用累赘词,尽量用主谓宾的简单句形式,严格控制句子长度。

1:超过60个单词的长句子

不推荐:The gear transmission is grade seven, the gear gap is 0.00012radians, the gear gap has different output values corresponding to any given inputvalue, nonlinearity of the gear gap model can be described by using the phase function method, the existing backlash block in the non-linear library of theMatlab/zdimulink toolbox can be used, the initial value of gear gap in the backlash block is set to zero.(REN et al., 2003)

推荐:The gear transmission is grade seven. The gear gap, which is 0.00012radians, has different output values corresponding to any given input value. The nonlinearity of the gear gap model can be described by using the phase functionmethod. The existing backlash block in the non-linear library of the Matlab zdimulink toolbox can be used; the initial value of gear gap in the backlash block is set to zero.(Brittman, 2007)

不推荐的原句中共69个单词,过多分句使句子过长,且前后逻辑松散,理解较为困难。因此,需要将相同观点整合,并形成具有中心论点的短句,在结尾需要强调两个分论点的关系处用分号,从而使句子逻辑更加清晰,前后观点联系更加紧密,且容易阅读和理解。


2:长串的参数罗列

不推荐:The clear height of the case is 6.15 meters; the thickness of the roof is 0.85meters; the thickness of the bottom is 0.90 meters, the overall width is 26.6 meters, the overall length of the axial cord is 304.5 meters, the length of the jacking section is about148.8 meters; the weight of the case is about 24,127 tons. (Brittman,2007)

分开罗列参数信息时,参数超过3个更适合放入表格中

推荐:

用于罗列参数的表格

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3:烦琐表达

不推荐:We note that the present interpretation of the results can be considered consistent with the so-called H-deficit model.

推荐:Our results agree with the H-deficit model.


04

句子意思模糊

中国人用英文写作时喜欢用模糊表达而非精确表达。

1:

不推荐:It increases significantly with temperature.

推荐:It doubles with every 10 increment.

2

不推荐:The test lasted approximately 5 s.

推荐:The test lasted 5 s.


05

句子重点信息没有前置

英文思维中,句子的重点信息应被在开头。中国人写英文句子时,通常先阐述时间、目的、地点、原因、例子和条件作为介绍的元素。如时间(afterward.).(based on the data we obtained.)、目的(in order to quantify the effect..)这些从句可放在主句的后面,以突出句子的重点信息,否则会有削弱主要观点的效果,并且让句子过于含蓄而便读者难以理解。因此,需要在一个句子的开头点明主要观点,在此之后阐述地点、原因等等。

1:本末倒置

错误:For the application of amino nitrogen to paper partition chromatography .this study proposes a new method to estimate micro amounts of amino nitrogen.

推荐:This study proposes a new method to estimate micro amounts of amino nitrogen for its application to paper partition chromatography.

原句将研究的应用价值放在句首(For the application of amino nitrogen),而该句的重点是研究的主要内容(proposes a new method.)。因此,句子本末倒置,重点被放在了句末。

2:状语从句放在句子的开头

不推荐:When noisy incomplete data is used, the inverse problems in SHM are typically ill-conditioned and ill-posed.

推荐:The inverse problems in SHM are typically ill-conditioned and ill posed when using noisy incomplete data.

推荐例句将重点信息放句首而没有先放条件状语从句。但如果状语从句较短而主句又较长,考虑到阅读便利性,也可以将状语从句放在句首。总之,要平衡好重点信息置前与句子各部分的长短。


06

句子逻辑混乱、跳跃、存在空白

中文讲抽象思维,讲究分类、归纳,缺少逻辑推理;而英文讲具象思维,讲究逻辑的推演和归纳。因此,中文表述在逻辑上经常有空白或跳跃。虽然在中国文化背景下,这些表达并不会造成中国读者的理解障碍,但用抽象的中文思维来进行英文写作时,这种逻辑缺失会给英文为母语的读者造成极大的理解困难。因此,在这种情况下,要么将所有细节具体描述,要么简略描述并添加参考文献补充说明。

错误:With the living condition for human beings increasingly improved ,morbidity of asthma is higher than before.

推荐:With the deterioration of air quality, morbidity of asthma is higher than before.

中文:随着人们生活水平的提高,哮喘的发病率越来越高。

如果从中文语境理解,尚能够猜测可能是生活水平提高了,交通更发达了,工厂增多了,加剧了空气污染,最终导致哮喘发病率增加。即使中文可以勉强如此理解,但是对于母语是英语的外籍人士,该句的逻辑就会令人迷惑:为什么生活水平提高会导致更多的哮喘病?英文讲究逻辑关系明确,因此推荐句中改为“空气质量变差,哮喘发病率增加”就合乎逻辑了。


07

典型中式英语

按照中文习惯表达英文除了会导致逻辑缺失和混乱外,有一些表达甚至会让英文为母语的读者费解,比如典型的中式英语的口语化表达。

1:

错误:The results are showed as Figure 2.

推荐:The results are shown in Figure 2.

2:

错误:What shouldn't be forgotten is that the chloride corrosion may exist in the testing sample.

推荐:It should be noted that the chloride corrosion may exist in the testing sample.

以上两个例句都是典型的中式英语,不仅会使读者费解,也会降低科技类文章的严谨性和专业性。为了避免该类表达,可多阅读英文论文,积累常见的表达方式,逐步建立起英文写作思维。